Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
