im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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