I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
