just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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