maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Damn victory sex feels great
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
