we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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