his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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