I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
