How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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