By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
That accounts for only three of the penises
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
