Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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