I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Life is so much better after having sex.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
