did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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