I never want to see another naked old woman again.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize