I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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