So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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