O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your dick twin last night
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize