Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
