You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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