If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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