I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
