I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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