she was so not down for the gang bang
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
