you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
