ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
