haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
