No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
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