After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
