The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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