He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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