I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
