Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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