What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
