forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
