thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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