Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did angry sex become our thing?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize