you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize