Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
