Don't you send me to vm
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
