I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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