I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize