I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize