he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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