he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
