My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
If that was your dad, he is hot
We named our party play list daddy issues
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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