Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
