sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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