I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
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