she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
