I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
