Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
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