in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
