so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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