I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
It was confusing and full of hummus
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
