Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
