she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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