She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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