just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
