There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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