my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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