There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
