If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize